Hey All!

It’s been over two months since my last post. I need to do better. I’m trying to get the word out about my blog. I can’t do that if I never write on it! :/ Anyway, let me tell you what’s been up with me. I’ve now done about 24 rounds of chemo since like Feb 2013. As you know from my last post, the cancer wasn’t all gone. Back then, I had just finished 12 rounds of chemo. Since then, I’ve done 12 MORE rounds of chemotherapy. It’s been difficult to accept. I had tons of questions; Was it really necessary? Will this be it? Why me? Thankfully, I got through it. We re-did my scans and got the results. Those results were kind of the same as the other results. The cancer is not gone. There are still multiple legions on my liver. It’s funny (not ha ha funny) lol, after my first 12 rounds of chemotherapy the cancer in my lungs COMPLETELY cleared up. There was A LOT of disease in my lungs, then poof (well not poof, GOD) it was gone. For some reason the liver just doesn’t want to cooperate. It’s depressing and sad. I just don’t understand it. The legions are very tiny. There are a lot of them though. I’m not a candidate for radiation. There are too many cancer cells on my liver and they are very tiny. I’m trying to be strong and positive but it gets tough. Especially since I know so many people who have succumbed to this HORRIBLE disease. I wonder “am I next?” What quality of life will I have? Will I be on lifelong chemotherapy? Is that what I want? What do I want? So many questions and not many answers. Since the cancer has remained stable, my doctor thought it to be a good time to take a break from therapy. Too much chemotherapy can have an adverse affect on your body. Frankly, it just isn’t good for you. How can it be? Pumping your body full of toxins that kill not only the bad (cancer) cells but your good cells too (hair, fingernails, white blood cells, red blood cells, etc). The break has been nice. Especially since I only work a 4 day work week (he he). Friday’s are my day to RELAX and ENJOY LIFE!!! That is JUST WHAT I DO TOO! 🙂 That being said, with the break comes worry. I am no longer taking treatment. Are the cancer cells growing? When we do our scans in 4 months will the cancer invade every orifice of my body? I am on an oral pill that slows the growth of breast cancer cells. My question is: is that enough? I have talked this over with my doctor and his answer is yes. Obviously it’s yes or I would still be taking chemotherapy. I am currently enjoying life and taking it one day at a time. A smart, wonderful, incredible, amazing (yes, you Aunt Susan) woman once told me “when you are having a great day, enjoy that moment. Savor that moment and most of all remember that moment.” Life will not always be sunshine and rainbows. When you do have those days, embrace them. That way, when you are having a not so good day you can reflect back to that day, that moment and remember how you felt. I am taking the milliseconds of my life in stride. I refuse to let myself to wallow in worry, pity and self-doubt. I’m 30 years old, I have a FANTASTIC husband, AMAZING family, and BLESSINGS as friends. Nothing can get me down. Not even cancer! 🙂 I am living in the here and now and enjoying EVERY SECOND! Till next time……….hug and kiss the ones you love. Tell them how much they mean to you. Never go one day without someone knowing how much they mean to you or how much you care. You NEVER know when it will be your last! Love you! Mwah! 🙂


One thought on “Hey All!

  1. Love you, Crystal!! Love your blog and your positive attitude! If only we could all have an ounce of it!! Keep up the good fight, we’re rooting and praying for you!!

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